The Old Woman with the Knife by Gu Byeong-Mo & Chi-Young Kim

Author:Gu Byeong-Mo & Chi-Young Kim [Kim, Gu Byeong-Mo and Chi-Young]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Canongate Books Ltd

Her original plan was to say that she was having trouble gripping her knife, that the idea of approaching a target had grown terrifying, that there were times when she forgot a key detail and almost botched the job, that she didn’t feel like herself at times; in other words, to exaggerate her current state in order to get as dramatic a note as possible. But now that she’s sitting face-to-face with Dr. Kang, not Dr. Chang, Hornclaw has lost her will to embellish, and instead mentions a sniffle and a stomachache.

Dr. Kang, of course, instantly recognized her. You saw nothing and nothing happened. Even though he promised to look the other way, it would have been impossible not to remember the old woman who trashed the exam room with a broken IV bottle in the middle of the night or the sharp blades tucked away in her clothes. But he caught himself before his eyes widened. Hornclaw wondered for a moment if she could trust him and ask him to write a note after all, but she started off by saying that her throat hurts when she swallows. Those other symptoms, the ones she came prepared to share, are evidence of old age, and she doesn’t want to confirm that she’s sixty-five years old, at least to him.

When Hornclaw had checked in at the counter, Nurse Park said, “Dr. Chang isn’t here today due to personal circumstances. Would you like to be seen by another doctor?” Although the nurse doesn’t know this old woman’s situation, she’s worked here for five years and understands that she only sees Dr. Chang.

“That’s unusual. Is everything all right?”

When Dr. Chang was at conferences the nurses mentioned his absence with pride and didn’t hint at personal circumstances; Hornclaw detected confusion and agony in the nurse’s phrasing.

Nurse Park looked over at the other patients sitting in the waiting room watching a drama on the HDTV on the wall, and lowered her voice. “He’s not quite well.”

Of course doctors were people, too, and could fall sick, but that wasn’t something that was usually revealed to patients.

“Must be more than being not quite well,” Hornclaw murmured, wondering why else she would lower her voice like that. Nurse Park, one of the nurses who believed that this elderly woman was having an affair with Dr. Chang, violated confidentiality by bringing her fingers to her temple with a sad expression. Hornclaw understood that something had happened related to the brain, and since Worryfixer hadn’t said anything about it yesterday, it meant that Dr. Chang didn’t have an ongoing ailment but had been taken away suddenly, without warning, and if that were the case it could have been a stroke. It was clear he wouldn’t be able to return to work in the next few days; if she went home now because Dr. Chang was incapacitated, that would give the nurses even more to whisper about, so she finished checking in and sat down to wait. Hornclaw’s thoughts were careening, but the traffic lights in her mind were still able to direct them.

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